For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
