we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We smell like vodka and hangover
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