this beer tastes like vomit already
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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