You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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