i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
