dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
