I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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