Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
