She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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