dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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