Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
