Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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