There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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