We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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