I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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