Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Someone shit on the floor
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
