i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
