What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
