I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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