you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
