Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
