Don't you send me to vm
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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