hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
you never un-have a 4some
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
