Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
