No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
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It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
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I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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