She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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