he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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