I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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