I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize