It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
