You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
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sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
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do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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