the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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