somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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