I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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