Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
