they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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