I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
