having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you made out with another girl for some wings
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
