You made me cry and you don't even care
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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