i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
