how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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