Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
