You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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