Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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