my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
