Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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