i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
