When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize