I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
