i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
