google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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