i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
