it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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