East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
