well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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