I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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