Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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