it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
